Cold Memories
by Arachnicus
Summary: A guy meets his long-distance lover. Can they be together forever? Or will distance separate these two hearts?


A/N: This is my retell of Makoto Shinkai's "5 Centimeters per Second." I'm really touched by the story and I want to write something about it… and then I came up with this. I purposely eliminated some elements, like the snow, but I tried very hard to preserve the atmosphere of the story. I hope you like it…

Sorry for the grammatical and typographical errors. Forgive me for the inconsistency of tenses. Sorry if I used some words for like, a thousand times. I really find it hard to put up sentences that give an atmosphere like I have on my mind.... don't punish me.

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COLD MEMORIES

It was a very cold evening. I rode the train and my heart is beating very fast. My heart is full of uncertainty but I need to keep my trust.

The station is full of people in suits and ties. These are the busiest people I have ever seen in my life, working and travelling at this hour of the night. I felt that I was different, wearing only two layers of sweatshirt and a pair of heavy jeans. But they didn't seem to notice me. They're busy after all.

I looked at my watch. It says it's already six o'clock. I pulled out my pocket a letter that contains everything about me this entire year. My heart is beating faster now. I put the letter back safe in my pocket. I wonder how she is doing right now. I rubbed my palms together. It's really the coldest night of the year. I gazed at the starless sky, and for a moment I shivered.

OUR TRAINS WILL BE SLOWING DOWN FOR TONIGHT DUE TO SOME TECHNICAL PROBLEMS. WE ARE SORRY FOR THE INCONVINIENCE ON YOUR BUSY DAY. The voice of that lady on the speaker echoed in my ears for a full minute. And then I closed my eyes.

Sitting on the coldest bench of the train, the memories of the days on my previous school came to me.

_I always sit at the farthest corner of the room and the seat beside me is empty. I don't have many friends. In fact, I don't have any friend at all. That's why I'm always alone, and spends most of the free time in the library. Actually, I'm very used to it because I always transfer from one school to another due to my parents' work._

_One day, a new transfer student introduced herself in the class. She occupied the seat beside me but it never occurred to me to talk to her. I'm always scared to be neglecter. And also, because on that moment, I do not know that she will be my very first friend._

_I saw her alone in the library one afternoon and I saw her again in the afternoon the next day. I saw her again the next afternoon and all the afternoons of the entire week. And that whole week she was always alone. By that, I've realized that she was just like me._

_I decided that I will talk to her the next morning. But when that time came, my lips felt like it's zipped on both sides. I can't talk to her. But I was surprised when she said the words Good Morning in a way that my heart would melt away. I've given my reply. And on that moment, I've made my very first friend. And she made hers too._

_We got along a little bit too well. We talked, laughed and played together ever since. These were the best days of my life. We ate our lunches together, read books together, studied together, and did everything we can do together. My parents also noticed the smile on my face, that I'm excited every time I go to school and very energetic even on the coldest evenings._

The trip took longer than I expected. Every station felt like eternity. Will I be able to make it? I looked at the people around me. Even though they look really busy, the passing time never bothered them at all. How I wish I would feel the same way too. But I cannot.

I saw a woman of my age talking on her phone. She really enjoyed the conversation because she has been laughing many times since I saw her. One day, I would get a job and buy a phone too. Maybe I'll also buy her one.

_Everyday with her really feels good. When we're together, it felt like we're the only students in this school. Everything felt like the all fall into their places. Everything feels so right._

_Until one day, she confessed to me that they'll be moving in the next two weeks. Tears fell from my eyes. I begged her not to go but she said it was not her will. We cried together. We reminisced the days we spent together, the laughter that we shared. We promised each other to write letters and stay in touch always. I told her that I like her a lot, that I love her, and that I want to be with her. She closed her teary eyes and I gave her a kiss. I wrapped my arms around her. I prayed to the stars to stop the time. Please, stop the time and make this moment last forever. But it never did._

_A week after her departure, my parents told me that we're leaving again. I looked at the sky in its palest shade. I learned that we really are meant to be separated._

On the next station, I need to transfer trains. The wind feels colder now. The train I was waiting for will be late for some minutes so I sat at the bench. There was no one there. It's no surprise because my train will be heading to the rural areas.

I took out the letter in my pocket. I took a deep breath and imagined how she looks right now. It's been a year since we last saw each other. And then a cruel icy wind blew. It took my letter with it. Tears fell on my cheeks. I cried. I wept. The things I always want to tell her were stolen by the wind. After some time, I wiped my tears. Now's not the time to be emotional.

When the train arrived, I immediately boarded it. It's not crowded anymore. In fact, there were only about two or three other people on the board I'm in. The view of the buildings and skyscrapers outside was gone. But instead, I saw trees and rice fields and rivers and nothing else. I looked at my watch. It's almost eleven. I was supposed to be there by nine.

I was almost there. My heart was beating faster, and louder. It's only a station away. I closed my eyes and made a long sigh. I wonder what she's doing right now.

When the doors of the train finally opened, I felt the coldest wind gushed on my bare skin. I boarded out of the train. There was nothing there. I walked through the empty halls until I reached the benches. I saw a figure. Is it her? When she turned around, I knew it's really her.

She wrapped her arms around my neck. I gave her a passionate kiss. How I missed the times. She was crying, and so was I. I wiped her tears away and whispered something to her.

We sat on the benches where there was a coal-heater. We felt better now. She took out the snacks she made. We ate together again. Seeing her made me forget my hunger, but eating with her made me feel better.

We enjoyed ourselves with the heat of the fire. I took her hands. I listened to every breath that she made. Yes, I want to be with her forever. But it's impossible right now. She rested her head on my shoulders. I hugged her tightly.

Now's not the time to rest, I told her. We made our way out of the station. It was pitch black. I could see the brightest stars now. We gazed at them together. But there was nothing else.

I kissed her again and she kissed me back. I ran my fingers through her soft hair. She buried her face on my chest. I whispered to her that I love her and I won't let go and everything would be alright.

She took me to an abandoned lighthouse. We sat on a corner and we talked about everything. Everything. We remembered our past. We cried our hearts out thinking that we can't go back.

It was very cold. She put out a blanket and covered the two of us together. We relaxed and closed our eyes. Sleep didn't really come to me, and I just watched her. Seeing her smile, watching her, feeling her breathe beside me made me feel happy from within. God, please stop the time. Please…

When she woke up I told her more of the stories I've wanted to tell her. I told her all my secrets and everything I know.

I will miss all these moments. I will keep them in my heart forever, I promise.

It was almost afternoon and I had to leave. I hugged her, I kissed her, and then I hugged and kissed her again. I really don't want to let go.

I took her hands and look at her in the eyes. Yes, I will miss her voice, her eyes and everything about her. We made a promise to keep writing letters. Tears fell.

We'll see each other again, right? I'll be waiting for you. I'll be waiting for you. I will always be waiting for you. I love you. I love you.

When the train arrived, I didn't know what to feel. Tears kept falling down our cheeks. I stepped onto the train but our hands were still together. I'll come back, I'll definitely come back. I put both of my hands on her face, feeling it to know that everything was real. And when the doors closed, all the happiness, and all the time we spent that day was over. In my sixteen years of existence, this is truly the first time I felt ever so empty.

And as I rode the train of sadness, as I was watching the trees and the rice fields transform into buildings and tall skyscrapers, deep in my heart I brought with me, the sweet memories that will never… never never ever ever never ever… sweet memories with her that will never fade…

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A/N: Please review! Onegaishimasu~


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